Some *new* gender predictions:
- We just returned from a trip to Connecticut where all my East coast friends ALL said boy.
- The bum that hangs out in the bar parking lot behind our place has now said to me on 2 seperate occassions as I walked to/from work, "It's a boy".
- My sister, Deanna, just found out she is having a girl at her 20 week ultrasound. That means, our original prediction from the Draino test could possibly have the wrong results resulting in Baby Zambrano (brown results) is a girl and Baby Lata (no color change) is a boy.
Less than 10 more weeks until we find out...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Unborn baby genders overrated?
It was a warm and sunny morning on April the 25th. Not unlike any other spring day but this day was different. This was the day we would find out the gender of our unborn child.
I'm not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV) but I'm smart enough to know that crystallized Drain-O and a pregnant woman's urine have been scientifically proven to predict the gender of your unborn child....or at least, that is what my mother tells me.
The test is relatively simple. Have a pregnant person urinate in a glass (preferably a glass that you don't plan to use again), pour crystallized Drain-O into another glass. Pour urine into Drain-O glass. Watch in awe as the most wretched smelling concoction known to man begins to start smoking and boiling in your hand. If the mixture turns brownish within 10 seconds, VOILA, its a boy and you've dodged a bullet. You can teach your newfound mini-me things like how to shoot off firecrackers, how to make farting noises with his armpit, and how to, generally, make his mother angry. If the mixture decides to keep smoking, smelling wretched, and making you want to vomit, you've got yourself a girl and years of saving for a wedding and a newfound interest in assault rifles. Either way, you are a winner!
In our case, the smoking, foul smelling mixture turned into nothing so.....girl? Perhaps, who knows. We'll let you know in 3 months whether this highly scientific experiment is a success. Until then, we will keep buying yellow and green stuff and calling our baby "it".
I'm not a doctor (nor do I play one on TV) but I'm smart enough to know that crystallized Drain-O and a pregnant woman's urine have been scientifically proven to predict the gender of your unborn child....or at least, that is what my mother tells me.
The test is relatively simple. Have a pregnant person urinate in a glass (preferably a glass that you don't plan to use again), pour crystallized Drain-O into another glass. Pour urine into Drain-O glass. Watch in awe as the most wretched smelling concoction known to man begins to start smoking and boiling in your hand. If the mixture turns brownish within 10 seconds, VOILA, its a boy and you've dodged a bullet. You can teach your newfound mini-me things like how to shoot off firecrackers, how to make farting noises with his armpit, and how to, generally, make his mother angry. If the mixture decides to keep smoking, smelling wretched, and making you want to vomit, you've got yourself a girl and years of saving for a wedding and a newfound interest in assault rifles. Either way, you are a winner!
In our case, the smoking, foul smelling mixture turned into nothing so.....girl? Perhaps, who knows. We'll let you know in 3 months whether this highly scientific experiment is a success. Until then, we will keep buying yellow and green stuff and calling our baby "it".
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